


A Type of Interlude

by Sariau



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast), The Adventure Zone: Balance (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Death, Feels, I guess???, Post-Canon, Spoilers to the end, cursing, ow- the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 22:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sariau/pseuds/Sariau
Summary: Taako is an Elf, and sometimes that really bothers him.





	1. Chapter 1

It's something that keeps him up at night. Well, sorta. He doesn't need much sleep to begin with, and it's easier to pass it off as insomnia when two-thirds of the party needs a regular sleep schedule of eight-plus hours and forgets that he's an elf. Forgets that he is fully rested after four hours of meditation.

That line of thought circles back to the beginning. That he is different than the other two. That if all three of them make it out of this mess alive, he would be the last to go. Humans have ridiculously short life spans- hell, Magnus probably would have had kids by now if he isn't off adventuring with fucks like the BoB. Angus is still a kid, but Taako feels like if he blinks too long, the boy would be whisked away by the sands of time. Dwarves are a little better, but Merle is already old, making jokes about kicking the bucket with macabre humor. Like it's only a matter of time.

Taako... Taako doesn't do isolation. He needs people around him, just around. No need for friendliness or affection or any of that shit. (But he got that from Sazed, and look how that ended.) Which is put at odds with his prickly exterior sending everyone off. (Not everyone, his mind supplies sounding suspiciously like a certain boy detective. That voice is smooshed by experience. Nobody would have him unless there was something to gain. He's still waiting for the other shoe to drop.) Being left behind would be the worst thing that could happen to him. It’s why he got into the habit of being the one to bite first, the one to break things off. Because it hurts, but it would hurt more if he doesn't have control of when it happens.

Why did he ever get fond of those two bumbling idiots? Why did he open himself up to inevitable pain?

Taako rolls over, kicking his blankets to lie smooth from one edge of the bed to the other before twisting and wrapping himself up into a tight cocoon.

He could have left them behind at any point, could still leave without a backwards glance with all the wealth he accumulated. He has done so countless times in his life, and never felt regret for long. But the very thought hurts like someone ripped the fabric of space open in his chest from the moment he said, "Hail and well met." He feels trapped between an avalanche and a very long fall.

He gets up, untangling himself from the knots he managed to make with some amazing acrobatic skill. He knows he isn't going to get any rest tonight with the way his train of thought is heading to Doom-and-Gloom's-Dale. So he packs his stuff up, just a few things for a short trip, leaves a note in the kitchen with a warning to not eat his pasta on pain of death, and makes his way to the loading bay.

Taako has been traveling, not staying in any one place for longer than two months, since his parents died. So the sudden change to stationary life is something that makes his feet itch, and he sneaks off to Faerûn as often as he can manage. If he has more opportunity to try out the spells he learned from the library, there's no one to snitch. (There was so much destruction after he realized he could turn into a dinosaur. Hell yeah, who _wouldn't_ want to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex?)

Staying planetside is so tempting, but Merle’s and Magnus's ugly mugs flash in his eyes, and the resolve to close that part of his life vanishes faster than wisps over boiled water.

Taako almost hates those two for chaining him down like this, but he can't bring himself to do it.

How they got so close, he'll never know.

Avi isn't there. Understandable, because of the sleep thing. The dudebro in his place is a lot easier in intimidating. Or rather, bribing, in this case.

The guy takes the thermos of black coffee, and turns away to prepare a pod. No muss. No fuss. Not a word. Just the way Taako likes it.

Destination set to random, Taako salutes sarcastically to dudebro, and is launched off the moon.

* * *

He’s amused that the cannonball parks him not far from the Sword Mountains. That Taako steps out just out of sight of the entrance to Wave Echo Cave. Back to the beginning, then? He has to wonder what fate is trying to tell him.

It’s a wonder fate still tries, considering how often he gives it the bird before hightailing the fuck out of there. Then again, Istus said he hasn’t been messing up too badly, all things considered.

There isn’t anymore perverted slimes in that tunnel, staying quiet as he walks over the glowing fungus (the joke isn’t funny anymore, so why bother?), and Taako stares consideringly at the big rock in the middle of the pool- the thing that’s making the water so special.

Nah. It would still be too big to fit through the tunnel, even if he changes its size class.

It would have been handy to have something better at healing than Merle. Oh well.

Taako’s feet lead him to the chamber he got the UmbraStaff from that Red Robe, and the magical artifact hums in his hand when he steps into the room. He finds himself settling down next to where the Red Robe had been, placing the UmbraStaff in a rough approximation of how he first saw it. His bag is scooched away.

He sighs. What is he even doing, coming here? He pulls his legs close to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and rests his forehead on his knees. His hat falls off, because of course it does, landing with a muffled thump at his feet.

It hurts. He hurts. And he knows this isn’t something that can be fixed by a Cure Wounds or potion. Regret or grief? Either way he would be alone in the end. Which would hurt less, Taako wonders. Which is he going to choose?

Taako doesn’t move for a long while. Eventually falling into a Trance when his body gives out on him.

* * *

There is a Red Robe in front of him. But… not the one that’s been helping his group on their retrieval missions. This one also has more to it than a weird orb of light hovering in the middle of a floating red robe. This one has someone wearing a Red Robe. He stares at them, knowing that he can see their face, but he can’t at the same time, can’t identify anything about them except for the Red Robe they are wearing.

And they’re crying.

It’s silent, in a way he recognizes after fending for himself for so long, just tears falling down a face that fills with static. Their hands stay in sight as they sit down where they are, their red robe flicked out behind them negligently. Their feet almost touch.

The Red Robe starts humming, and it's not the most beautiful voice he’s ever heard, but it tastes like nostalgia. It feels like home. And Taako closes his eyes again to the sweet melody that echoes in this wide cavern.

* * *

Taako must have drifted off, because he lifts his head, and no one is there. He almost dismisses what happened as a dream, if not for his UmbraStaff brushing against the tips of his shoes where the Red Robe had been. His hat is resting on his bag a little ways away.

So. Not a dream, then?

His stomach growls, and he remembers last eating breakfast the day he went planetside. And it’s been more than a couple days since he left, judging by how hungry he feels. He stretches, popping his back in all the good and bad ways, before grabbing a meal from his bag.

Sure, it’s just a granola bar and his waterskin, but it’s enough to shut up his rumbly tummy, and that’s all that matters.

Taako’s ear twitches when he hears a faint sound echoing from where he came in. It comes again, and there’s no mistaking it. “-aako?” Magnus is calling him, probably followed him using those tracking glasses he got at the Fantasy Costco.

Looks like his escapade has come to a close. He packs up his shit, lifting his UmbraStaff by its handle when he is done, and leaving the cavernous room behind.

Taako meets Magnus in the grinder room, and is bowled over by an old dwarf. “Careful there, youngin’. Don't want you to throw my back out.” Shit. Not what he wants as the first thing to come out of his mouth.

Merle is having none of his shit, checking him from top to bottom for injury. “You can call me youngin’ when you've got kids of your own- make that _grandkids_.”

“Pretty sure you won’t last long enough to see my grandchildren, Merle.” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Way to bring the mood down. He sees Magnus watching from a bit away… _sonofabitch_. “Zone of Truth?” He asks with false lightness in his voice, because he might as well be sure before burning a spell slot on the asshole.

“I'll settle for a kid of your own then.” The cleric very obviously doesn't answer the question. “So, what's got you planetside this time? New spell?”

Taako purses his lips, well aware that he can't lie at the moment. Then he has an idea. “I don't want to tell you.” Merle sinks a little, like he's aware of the work around, and Taako has ruined the spell’s purpose now that he knows it.

Then he perks up, and Taako doesn’t like that glint in his eye, not one bit. “So, not a spell. This have anything to do with my age?” It’s said jokingly, but Merle’s face is serious. Because if this is about Merle’s age, then it’s also about Magnus’s.

Taako doesn’t answer, and he can hear the human’s intake of breath when he realizes just what the dwarf is hinting at, which is a little slow for him, but Taako’s line of thought is hard to follow in the best case scenario. This is not one of those times.

He clenches his hand tighter around the handle. Why do they feel like talking about this now of all times? Why couldn’t they bring this up… never? His lip quirks up at the thought. Right, and all of Taako’s friends will never die.

At least Kravits will stick around if he doesn’t chase him off.

...

Who is he kidding? Of course he'll chase him off.

_Istus_ , can Taako do anything right?

“I don't want to talk about it.” He finally answers, passing by both of them and out of the Zone of Truth. “I mean, there's a coin toss between us not surviving collecting the rest of the relics, splitting up when we're done, or sticking together until the end of forever.” Taako may be the best chef ever, with a wide knowledge of cooking and baking including conversions of ingredients and measurements, but he sucks at math every time he isn't in the kitchen.

Magnus looks like he wants to fix that statement, his mouth opening with whatever he's going to say, when Merle comes down hard on the human’s foot. Magnus does a little dance, hopping about as he holds his damaged foot. Taako watches them mouth an argument back and forth without saying a word from his spot just inside the shadows cast by the doorway. It looks like Taako rolled higher stealth than their perception, because they don’t notice him.

Whatever they're talking about involves him, since they keep mouthing his name and gesturing to the doorway he's lurking in. If they're going to be all mushy about who is going to provide comfort, this guy is going to intervene right quick.

He takes two steps back, before sticking his head into the light. “Hey hombres, my guys, listen. It's cold down here. I want to go laze in the sun for a few hours. Peace!” He turns on his heel and leaves for good that time.

Taako makes it to the surface before they can catch up with him, and he's pondering a warm boulder with its rounded top as a place to sprawl over. The day is nice, there's a light breeze, and the sun is shining.

A twig snapping draws his attention to someone at the edge of the forest. A wood elf. Young too, can't be older than fifty. He's baring a sword protectively, and Taako can see another two wood elves beyond the first. One of them is maybe a decade younger, and in her arms is a baby. The three look too much alike for this to be two lovers eloping with their child, and it makes him a bit sick even thinking about that with how young they are. So siblings then. They've got enough of the markers to be recent runaways, and something within Taako wants to help them out.

He blames the urge on Merle and Magnus, but doesn't fight it.

“Hail and well met, strangers!” He greets, glad the UmbraStaff looks like a regular umbrella and not at all threatening. The wood elves would have bolted at the first sign of a weapon. Taako would've when he was that age. “I've got some friends lagging behind in the cave, but you're welcome to it once we leave, as long as you're okay with a few moldy corpses.” He offered jerking his head to the mouth on the cave to his side. “If you can keep the little one quiet near the glowing fungus, the water below it has healing properties. And the tunnel beyond it leads to a good defensive position. Just saying.” The boy is closer now with his weapon lowered, and the girl is waiting at the forest’s edge. They're close enough to their race’s adult height that he could guess they've been lying about being older.

“Why should we trust what you say?”

Taako smiles, but it's not a happy smile. “Ran from your citadel, right?” The boy flinches, and he catches the girl tightening her grip on the baby. “So, what? All your family die or something?”

The boy relaxes at Taako’s subtle olive branch- that he had been in the same boat, and shakes his head. “They were going to marry her off and send him to be raised in the militia.”

Taako’s smile brightens into something pleased. “Good on you then.” He passes his rope over to the boy, and he answers the obvious confusion on his face. “You'll need that to get into the right tunnel. It's pretty steep, and you shouldn't risk it with the little one.”

The boy sheathes his sword to carry the rope in his arms, and Taako twirls his UmbraStaff. He sees movement in the tunnel. “About time!” He calls to the two leaving the cave.

“We heard you,” Magnus excuses, “so we doubled back and cleared out the monsters in there.”

The boy is tense at the others’ presence, and Taako isn't surprised. It's a bit of an elf thing, to be either wary of the other races or feel superior to them. Taako skated by that, since he’s a high elf. “Don't worry about it, we’ll be flying off to the moon in a bit anyways.”

The girl scoffs, and Taako grins at her. That is such a teenage sound; that _don't patronize me_ sound that she had been holding back, and was now comfortable enough to do so.

Maybe his interactions with Angus helped him get better with children? Nah. He is flawless with everyone thanks to his natural charisma.

“I haven't said a lie yet, sweatpea. Toodles.” He waves at them, joining his teammates as a cannonball lands in front of them.

Even the little one has a slack jaw, and it's amazing. The balloon inflates, and they're lifted back to the moonbase.

* * *

Strapped into the cannonball, Taako has nowhere to go, and is stuck with the two chucklefucks for however long it’ll take to land. “Look.” He starts, not bothering to turn to look at them. “Before you roll for this conversation, how good is your charisma?” Silence is his answer, and it’s telling. “Exactly. Drop it.”

* * *

It’s obvious that they _don’t_ drop it, but he could hope, right?

Well, they _kind of_ drop it. Taako gets a few days under the belief that age wouldn’t be discussed anymore. Then he steps into the shared living room after an enjoyable day of exploring the base, and Merle and Magnus are waiting for him like they’re in some fantasy reality tv show of intervention. They’re sitting on separate couches with concerned and serious looks on their faces.

Taako was stuck next to the door, trying to decide if he wants to turn right around and spend the next few days avoiding this goulash of feelings.

He does. He _really fucking does_. But does he also want to have this conversation hovering over his shoulder any time he wants to chill and relax? Can he?

The answer, my friends, is yes.

Taako _Blinks_ the fuck outta there, and somehow hustles his way onto someone else’s couch. He doesn't really care who at this point, and he’ll be gone before the sun rises, so it doesn't matter.

* * *

Scratch that. It matters. _Hatchi Matchi_ , how did he manage to camp on the _Director’s couch_?!? She always comes across as one of those strict no nonsense kind of humans, and he was past caring when he came across her door- but… _holy shit?_ How is this his luck right now?!?

He doesn’t even realize where he is when he rises with the sun still a long ways off, and started grabbing random shit from the fridge to make breakfast. He wants something fancy, so he’s going to get fancy.

He doesn't wonder why the kitchen is different from the one he has gotten used to over the last (almost) year. He doesn't wonder why the kitchen is so well stocked. He doesn't question why there are so many kitchen appliances. He dumps the different dry ingredients into a large metal bowl, set it up in the automated mixer, and slowly adds the wet almost without thinking.

It feels automatic.

It feels like he is still dreaming, and is cooking in his dream kitchen.

Sure, his little coach had all the necessities, but he is falling in love with the induction cook-top and convection oven.

The apples cook so nicely in the copper pot with the sugar and vanilla, and the end result of a braided apple danish loaf is perfection- if he says so himself.

And then-

He just keeps going?

It kinda feels like he's taking a back seat to muscle memory, and he watches himself create dish after dish of delicious food.

He doesn't even feel the need to cast magic. The appliances cover everything he reasonably needs.

Heck! There's an automated potato peeler! Taako takes the skinned spuds over to be grated in the food processor for hash browns.

And it looks like he's making a bunch.

The elf takes a look at the platters already set out in dishes of varying colors. He's _already_ made a bunch.

“Davenport!” Taako freezes at the blissful way the name is said, and in the time it took for him to turn back to the pan of hash browns, the little gnome dude is there, snacking away on the danish loaf. The assistant whatever also has a mug of coffee on the counter next to his elbow. It's steaming, and already creamed.

Did he do that without even realizing? Because he knew that he prepped the coffee maker, but he had been keeping an eye on the second oven at the time.

Shit, Taako really has to keep an eye on what he's doing.

Davenport toasts with the mug and a cheerful call of his own name. This time, Taako is aware when he starts making a different cup, and it's not nearly as light as the drink in the gnome’s hands. In fact, it’s black with a spoonful of sugar.

That Taako holds it out just as the Director wanders out of what he presumes to be her room with bleary eyes freaks him out. That she takes it from his hands automatically freaks him the **_fuck_ ** out.

_Holy shit??_

Did he get mugged or something, and this is all some weird dream before he kicks it?

Man, that would be an original way to see Kravitz after seeing him off after the Chug ‘N Squeeze.

And he doesn't even have the time to actually freak out because the hash browns are ready, and he has too much pride in his cooking to serve something burnt. So he plates out the hash browns, fixes himself his own dose of caffeine, and wonders if he can get outta here before either shoe drops.

And yeah, now that the food’s cooked, now that all the appliances are winding down, _now_ Taako is freaking out. He doesn't show it- a bit of a holdover from his performing days. He puts his his cup of coffee down to hide how much his hands are shaking.

Just what did he get himself into, running away from one ~~_terrifying_~~ dumb question?

But… nothing really happens? The tired morning is quiet and peaceful, and Taako doesn't feel panic as he watches Davenport or the Director eat the food he cooked. It's almost nice, and he finds himself eating more than he is used to. His stomach is protesting mildly at the excess, but it's ignored.

Davenport cheers at every new dish he eats, closing his eyes afterwards to enjoy the flavor, and Taako wonders where he's putting it all. Gnomes are pretty small, and Davenport is getting close to consuming half his body weight.

Then the caffeine in the Director’s mug of coffee takes effect, and he can see the same _oh shit_ realization spread across her face as the three of them eat forkfuls from the spread he has laid out. But apparently seeing the Director before she puts on all those layers that Taako thought were her face lets him see through them when they come down like a falling elevator. (Trust Taako when he says it's fast, and not at all pretty.) Taako watches her glance at her surroundings, to her rather plain set of pajamas, to Davenport- who is happily finishing off a plate that used to house a dozen cheesy scrambled eggs-, and then to him. She sighs like she always does when he gets up to no good, but it sounds more like a fond huff than anything else.

And she doesn't comment, like at all. Which Taako is so down with, he could be gravity.

The Director only fetches a heavy book from a shelf to start scribbling in while the other hand delivers food to her mouth.

It all feels comfortable, and Taako can't help but relax.

* * *

The food is all eaten, mostly thanks to Davenport, and Taako has fallen for a new love. The dishwasher. And maybe the Director for offering to help load it.

Taako isn't one to stop someone from lifting the workload off his shoulders, so he says yes.

And they end up talking about the different recipes he made that morning, countering each other about different substitutions to make one thing sweet instead of savory, or if a change could force a chemical imbalance for the doughnuts to come out differently. Then Taako gushes over her kitchen (which she shares with Davenport. Looks like even the Director has to share main living areas. Taako doesn't feel as bad having to share with the boner squad. He still would like to have this kitchen for himself, but he’s not that much of a dick.) and she directs him to another little gadget that sends him off into raptures all over again.

“And this one turns vegetables into pasta.” The Director shows him by twisting a cucumber into the cone shaped opening. Taako stares with an open mouth as linguine shaped strips of cucumber inch their way out. “The other side-” a stone of farspeech chimes from the other room.

There’s a sudden stop to the ringing, and then, “Davenport?” Taako can hear the gnome answer the stone. “Davenport. Davenport. Davenport! Davenport. Davenport!”

Taako watches the doorway with the Director, and Davenport steps through with the stone in hand. He holds it out for the Director, and Taako has a pretty good idea who it would be at this time of day.

_“Sorry to bother you so early in the morning, Madam Director, but I don’t know who else to ask.”_ A little boy’s- Angus’ voice- comes through the stone. _“Taako was meant to supervise me practicing Mage Hand , but he hasn’t shown up. And Merle and Magnus haven’t seen him since last night- and-_ and _-”_

“Calm down, I know where he is.” The Director is quick to head off the impending meltdown. She is also staring at him with a level gaze as she continues. “I’m sure he’ll be there soon.” She says a couple more placations before hanging up.

Right. So this little breakfast thing never happened then. He’s opening the door when he hears her call out. “Taako? Our door is open if you need to get away for a while.”

He doesn’t say anything, but he has the feeling that the Director knows that he acknowledged her offer.

He also has a feeling that she is aware he left the front door slightly open to listen in for a bit longer. He hears her fiddle with the stone for a bit, and then the call connects.

“Merle, I assume Magnus it there as well? Look, I usually leave intervening between employees for Brad, but I saw Taako last night. Whatever you ambushed him with- no,” the Director cuts off Merle’s attempt to explain, “I don’t care what it was about- could you leave it for him to bring up? He looked really spooked.”

_“This isn’t something that he’s gonna bring up.”_ Merle states tiredly through the stone of farspeech. Taako feels like that was an accurate assessment. The elf leans against the wall next to the door, well aware that his long ears are turned towards the door's opening. He can't really help them from doing that if he wants to hear what they're saying.

“It it something that will be changed if you talk about it?”

_ “More like it’ll change how he feels about it.” _

“You do realize this is _Taako_ you’re talking about here.”

There is a pause, like Merle is trying to find a counterargument. _“Good point.”_ A heavy sigh that Taako knows belongs to the dwarf. _“I can’t reign in Magnus when he has an idea in his head, so I thought I could direct it to have the best outcome. Famous last words, right? I’ll see what I can do with Magnus, but you seem to be doing better with Taako, would you talk to him about it?”_

“And why do you believe I’m doing better with Taako than you?” The Director’s cool and majestic tone is so judging what Merle is going to say next.

_“Because you seemed pretty sure Taako wasn’t with us when you called.”_ Huh. Taako hadn’t thought of that.

“Angus called, and asked where he was. He mentioned you two didn’t know.”

_“Yeah, about that.”_ Magnus’ brash voice joins in. He sounds sheepish. _“He was with us when he called, we know. The kid ran off as soon as he hung up.”_

Taako is done listening in. He closes the door as quietly as he can, and lets his feet take him to the cafeteria. He feels like a kid when the adults are trying to decide how to handle him. He _hates_ how that feels. He’s independent, and he doesn’t need some conference over some _(terrifying)_ dumb question.

Yet, at the same time, he feels better than he did when he ran off on Merle and Magnus.

Weird…

His train of thought is wrecked _-heh-_ by the worried and enthusiastic face of boy wonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcannon that Davenport, one of the smallest characters in the story, has the biggest stomach. Magnus can't compete. And everyone eventually stops asking, "JUST WHERE DOES IT ALL GO?!?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, Magnus' ending gave me so much inspiration for this. Also this made me cry writing some parts, so it might make you cry too. Gonna update the tags for angst and feels if I haven't already, because almost ALL of this chap is angst and feels.

It feels like longer than a week since he crashed on Lucretia’s couch. So much has happened, and Taako is still trying to figure out how he fits back into himself. But something in him demands someone to worry and fret over him, and Merle and Magnus don’t really cut it, and they are off on the Starblaster providing relief after the Hunger anyways. Lup and Barry are off with Krav, negotiating their continued survival or something.

That leaves Davenport. And Lucretia.

And he knows how to sneak into their shared apartment. He doesn’t need to cast a single spell. Okay. That is a lie. He _Blinked,_ and walked right through their door to camp on their couch again.

Taako might have also unlocked the door as he released the spell so he has a quick getaway if necessary… It doesn’t hurt to be cautious.

Still, he bundles himself with all the blankets they have stored in the hallway closet, and let himself fall into a Trance. The linen’s smell is familiar from both his time on the Starblaster and his year as a member of the BOB, and falling within himself is easy.

He wakes up a few hours later to low candlelight. Taako peers through both bleary eyes and the waves of blankets all over him to see the source of what woke him up. Lucretia is bent over the desk on the other side of the living room, scribbling away like there is no tomorrow.

Which Taako very much has a problem with. He likes his tomorrows to follow after his todays.

Not to mention one apocalypse per year is his limit.

So he gets up, lets himself stumble and shuffle loud enough for Lucy to notice, and heads for the kitchen.

_His_ kitchen.

Lucy-lu somehow managed to get her hands on the blueprints he had been sketching alongside Lup’s own designs (which was implemented by majority vote one catastrophic time Magnus tried baking a cake during one of the later cycles. He is sure to this day that Lup had bribed the rest of the crew to vote for her plans, but whatever.) and brought them to life with the latest in culinary technology of this plane.

Hell, even the utensils are where he wanted them.

And Lucretia had this built (Taako was smart enough to know that she didn’t have the skill to make his kitchen herself, so that meant someone else made it. The thought that she had it done at all was really sweet.) when none of her family remembered. He wonders if there are more hints of the crew on the not-so-secret secret moonbase.

Taako pulls down one of the bags of flour and another of sugar. Might as well get a head start on breakfast.

Later, as soon as he feels comfortable leaving the kitchen for a few minutes, Taako brings a mug of coffee out to Lucretia. She is still writing lines faster than he could write a word, caught up in the flow so much that she doesn’t notice him stopping at her side with her preferred hot drink. He puts it down on a empty spot of desk, and waits.

She’s not noticing, and Taako has other things he can be doing instead of waiting. It has absolutely nothing to do with how Lucy has been writing the same words over and over since he first peered over her shoulder.

> _They’re safe. They’re alive. The Hunger is gone. The Light of Creation is gone. The people of Faerûn have united together in the face of the end of their existence. And won. The Hunger isn’t going to hunt us ever again. They’re safe. They’re alive. The-_

Taako slips an arm around her side, having to twist a little awkwardly to do so since she is sitting in a chair, and the top of her head is maaayybee level with his lowest rib. His action causes her quill to go wide in the middle of a word, and it leaves a lone, thick line to show its path across the paper.

He tightens the side-hug he’s got going on for a moment before letting go. Taako scoots the mug closer. “Your coffee is gonna get cold if you ignore it, Lucy-lu.”

And he doesn’t wait for a response. He’s got to check on the fuckin’ quiche in the first oven, then make sure nothing exploded in the other. Because his version of soft pretzels have the bad habit of exploding when they don’t get the attention they deserve.

* * *

The first one to go, unsurprisingly, is Magnus. It’s been decades since he opened up his school, and Ren was doing so well that he signed it all over to her. Which means he can pop by without being nagged to sign paperwork or talk with snot-nosed students. And he can rag Angus a bit when he tells the students about boychik’s first attempt at _Mage Hand._ Ango’s gotten so used to it over the years that he’s even responding, snarking about silverware and noses gone missing.

It’s _amazing._

So he travelled again. He is so set for his long life that he doesn’t know what to do with what’s left over. Then he has an idea. He hits the road again in a modified battlewagon. And he does a smaller version of Sizzle It Up! With Taako.

Sure, he still performs as he makes fantastic food for the masses, but he doesn’t do it for profit anymore. All the food he makes is given to his audience. He’s used to making food for six and a bottomless gnome; Taako makes big portions without trying.

If he just so happens to spend more of his time in places during their time of need, no one comments.

Taako is happy. He’s got a name brand that is managing itself by this point. He can cook all he wants. He can call everyone (except Merle, because he won’t turn on his fucking _stone_.) if he ever needs to talk. Kravitz comes by every once in a while to spirit him away. There’s nothing that he can’t do.

(He _might_ have taken care of some recluse rich boy with the attitude of a stinkbug, but Kravitz and anyone who might make the connection don’t mention it. That a rich boy recluse got offed had been looked into, but there hadn’t been any leads, and the case went cold.)

But he’s here now. With the rest of the crew. It’s surprising just how much everyone has changed. With the exception of Barry and Lup, everyone has aged. Merle’s got even more wrinkles from laughter. Davenport’s head of colorful hair has gone grey and wispy. Lucretia’s hands look small and brittle, and the crow’s eyes are deep enough to contest the color of her eyeliner. And Magnus? He’s on his deathbed. Just lying there in wait for when his breathing and heart stops. He pulls on his brightest smile for Mags, pulling Angus (when did he grow up?) closer to his side to give his fancy boy support.

It doesn’t take long for Magnus to fall still.

Taako does his damnedest to hold back the tears.

At least it’s raining.

Beside him, Angus shields his eyes from the sun with a hand.

As a bit of irony, Magnus asked for his ashes to grow a tree. “A good, sturdy one.” The human said with a wide grin. “If it gets chopped down, that’s fair. But I’d like the wood to be used-” Magnus paused there, bringing his hand up to his chin in thought- “either for a chair or a house, I think.”

Taako steps away from the recently planted cedar sapling. He wonders if the rain is ever going to end.

* * *

There had been an accident. Something unplanned happened during one of Merle’s camps. Some monster had shown up, too over-leveled for the rugrats or Mavis or Mookie to take on. So Merle had told them to go on ahead to the end of the trail where the kid’s parents were waiting for them. Merle had been confident in facing down the beast, comparing it to the creatures he had bested before, but the dwarf forgot one key fact. He was much older. He had someone to back him up in those fights. He sucked as a healer.

Mavis found his body and the remains of the beast when she went back to search for him.

She still hasn’t stopped crying, and Mookie has a serious look on his face that reminds Taako of his father.

Taako doesn’t know how to handle losing Merle. Knowing that he won’t come back at the end of the year. Sometimes he forgets, and calls his stone to leave a message. The only difference is that there had been a chance of Merle answering before.

It helps.

A little.

* * *

Davenport disappears a few months after Merle passed away. One month, his postcards stop arriving. And before Taako can start to mount a search and rescue mission, Lup calls him on the stone to tell him just where their captain has gone.

Taako… he still cooks, but he can’t really bring himself to cook those massive portions after that. He packs up his travelling cooking show, and he wanders.

It’s getting harder to interact with others, and Taako is starting to prefer the less beaten path for the solitude it gives him. He hurts less when they're just dust.

* * *

Taako managed to make it in time to say goodbye to Lucretia. She looked fine, happy and lively over dinner for four, but the pursed lips on Lup’s and Barry’s faces speak otherwise.

The next morning, Lucretia doesn’t come down for breakfast. A stroke got her as she slept.

Those are quick and painless, right?

Someone tracks him down after the funeral. He doesn’t recognize them, but the arm bracer is a dead giveaway. Distantly, he remembers Killian and Carey going out in a blaze of glory to save a town from some disaster, and he wonders if there’s anyone left from the original BoB.

Ango has gotten old, and has the same gravitas Lucretia displayed when she dusted off her Director persona. He couldn’t get the kid to stop calling him Sir, which feels a little awkward when he looks a bunch younger than old-man-wonder. He should catch up with him soon.

Still, this BoB agent is waiting him out with an envelope held out for him. Taako glances between the letter and the human with his baby face and scruffy black hair. The kid waits him out, so he takes the envelope, opening it, and asks, “So, who are you, kiddo?”

The letter inside is from Lucretia, but he already knew that. “I’m Harry, Sir. I’m a wizard, or I want to be.” Taako stopped reading to take that in.

He looked back over the human again. Sure enough, he fit the description to a T. Green eyes and all. “Potter?” He asks, because he can’t help himself.

“No Sir. My last name is Porter. Though the director did say to introduce myself with my full name- shoot. I’m already messing up. Sorry. Can I start over?”

“Nope!” Taako pops the P, picking back on the reading thing where he left off. “No extensions, take-backs or refunds!”

He finally gets past the word vomit of nonsense that Lucretia put at the beginning of anything she wrote. Like, sure, it’s all fine and good on those fancy scholar papers to write an introduction to introduce a topic, but did she really have to write them in her farewell letters? Because that’s what this is shaping up to be. He reads the word vomit a few more times before moving on, and he has to stop to give a sharp look at the boy-wizard. “She’s giving it all to me?” There’s a tightness in his throat and a weight in his stomach. “Is she mad?”

Harry’s smile is bittersweet. “She said she didn’t want you to be alone.”

Taako feels his lips curl at the ends slightly. Maybe it’s time to stop wandering, and put down roots. Where better than on the moon? And what’s one more favor for Lucy-lu?

“Yeah, alright.” He folds the letter as carefully as he can, well aware just how fragile paper can become over time. He’d like to be able to read this in another century, please. “I should mention that I am shit at paperwork.”

“That’s alright, Sir. The Director set up a system that should handle most of it.”

“Cool. Cool.” Taako swings his umbrella- just an umbrella, though he _might_ have hidden his wand in the handle- to rest against his shoulder. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to be looking for a teacher in magic? I think I’m going to be feeling nostalgic for the next decade or three.”

Harry’s bright grin and victorious punch to the air is answer enough.

* * *

It is his turn to go now. He feels it like some internal hourglass is almost empty the morning he wakes up. Taako has lived a good, _long_ while. He has seen just about everything.

Hell, Taako had used his contacts as the fucking _Director of Benevolence_ to keep Merle’s and Magnus’ business together during hard times. The school that he had made had eventually been passed back when Ren died of old age. She was only a dark elf, after all.

So he revamped the BoB a bit to include the school and make it a bit more widespread. Lucas’ school withered away against the competition, and Taako couldn’t help the surge of satisfaction when Cameron (one of Harry’s descendants, somewhere around the tenth generation. He stopped keeping track after the seventh- after Percy moved on.) informed him of the good news.

That had been, what, five centuries ago?

_Fuck_ he’s old.

Lup shows up every once in a while to drag him off to the center of chaos. They’re not attached at the hip anymore. They haven’t since Barry joined the picture, and Taako doesn’t fault him for it. Lup deserves a nerd, and only the nerdiest will suffice for his rotten sister.

He and Kravitz still have their date night, and they are a regular sight on Date Night at the Chug ‘N Squeeze. Newbies still stare and gawk that Taako regularly has three different agents of death visiting, and he enjoys every moment of it.

So he gets up on the day he knows he is going to die, and acts like it's any other day. He’s got an assistant to make the reviewing process easier. What was their name again?

Oh yeah, Harry again. Though this time Harry is a girl, and a fighter. Taako doesn’t claim to understand female’s thoughts, but he usually gets more of the thinkers than the do-ers applying for the position. There’s not much action back with Taako. Mostly because he’s gotten **very** good at blasting from a distance faster than someone can cross it. Still, she’s new, so he won’t judge for a little while.

(Too late. She does a mediocre job, but at least her tea is passible.)

Harry is already in his office when he enters, and there is a neat stack of reports for him to read in the “In” tray. There’s a cup of Oolong still warm on his desk, and he sends a proud smile at Harry when she isn’t looking.

He sits down, taking a long sip, and knew that had been the fuck up that tied his noose.

He drank Oolong tea.

He also drank Silverpoint.

_Fuck._

This shit really hurts! Like, yeah, he’s had a fridge dropped on him, and he’s died a bunch. Silverpoint doesn’t compare to even the dulled memories of his past, but he’s managed to avoid those kinds of injuries for a while. He sees an armored group burst through his door, ignoring Harry as they line up with black metallic shields as they approach.

Their attempt at looking bad-ass is noted, reviewed, and discarded as he mentally laughs at them when he casts _Lightning Bolt_ … using a ninth spell slot. Oh yes. He went there. The fuckers deserved it. He would plead self-defense if he survives, but… yeah. That's not going to happen.

Taako should probably alert the others about the coup, right? And maybe that he’s dying. That’s important. He should remember that.

Who is he going to call? Leon? Wait, no. Leon retired and beefed it a while ago, right? Garfield never came back. Who else was there? He couldn’t remember. Harry is dead. Angus? Is Angus still around? Taako has to think through the fog hazing his mind, but he gets there.

Yes, retired, but still answers his stone calls.

Taako calls Angus, and it’s getting hard to breathe. He should figure out how he wants to pose his body. He kinda feels like being wise and wizardly, so he makes his way back to his high wingbacked chair, and arranges his hands to look something close to respectable. He can’t feel them, so he counts it as a win when they weave together.

_ “Sir? Is something wrong? You usually don’t call this early.” _ Taako hears the stone. It’s a little off. Isn’t Angus a little fancy boy with his little fancy cap? He dismisses the thought.

“Yeah, sorry Ango. I think I just took down some opposing faction that wanted me dead.”

_“I- Sir.”_ The stone is silent for a bit. _“Are you okay? Who’s Ango?”_

“Drank Silverpoint like a chump. Come on, Angus, quit playing around. I’m dying here. D’you mind calling the other members of the BoB, and figure out if there’s anyone else and why? You always liked mysteries. This one should be a sinch.”

_“Sir. Yes. I can do that.”_ Taako can hear sniffling through the stone, but he doesn’t call boychik on it. Kid couldn’t even hold back when Magnus was dying.  _“I’m Angus, and I’ll take care of it. You won’t have to worry about anything.”_ More sniffling, and Taako thinks that maybe he hears some murmuring, but it doesn’t last long.  _“Do you want me to give any messages to anyone?”_

Taako thinks about it. Sleep, real sleep of the more permanent kind is starting to look attractive, but he has one last chance for a zinger. Who is he to pass up such an opportunity? “Abra-ca-fuck-you.” He says with a grin. The world fades away as his eyes close.

_Nailed it._

He hears a faint, _“ Yes Sir. I can do that for you. If it's too much trouble, can I just say? Thank you. Thank you so much for what you've done. We can handle the rest.” _

* * *

Then the world pops back to clarity, and Kravitz is there, offering his elbow like the beginning of every date. Taako can hear the stone calling for him to respond, and when there isn’t an answer, there is only sobbing. “Can you apologize to Pablo for me? He doesn’t deserve something like this.”

Kravitz nods with a sad smile. “Let’s go, you’ve got some people waiting for you.” And he cups his hands around Taako, and Taako realizes that he’s one of those light orbs that he had seen when he chatted with the Raven Queen. Sweet. Those things look bad-ass.

Krav tears a rift open, and Taako suddenly has a body as his light orb thing passes through.

They are standing on a beach. The ocean of the afterlife is behind them, and there is a large building sitting pretty behind a white picket fence. Oh wait. That’s a house, isn’t it?

It’s not nearly spherical to be aesthetically pleasing to him. Man, living on the moon really warped his tastes, huh?

The door opened, and he sees Lup heading out. The basket she had been carrying drops to the ground, and perfectly good food rolls out onto the grass. “Taako!?!” She shrieks, and Taako can hear multiple thumps and crashes inside the house before feeling the stampede of feet. “What the hell? You’re not supposed to die for another-” A flinty look passes over her face as realization hits. Not the _best_ of signs. “You were killed.”

“Yup!” Taako chirps, stuffing his hands into his pockets and rocking onto the balls of his feet. “Poisoned. I got ‘em back for it, and left clean up with Pablo.”

The rest of the crew topple over each other at the door. Taako can’t hold back the goofy grin. He waves at them. They’re all there, and they look like they did at the beginning of their planar hopping. And he does too.

He laughs, bright and happy in a way that he had lost a long time ago.

He’s finally home.

Taako is home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be glad that I didn't decide on an epilogue, because I literally can't be that mean. That last bit? That would have been the epilogue.
> 
> Yeah.
> 
> Did you cry? I cried. Poor Taako.
> 
> Also: Magnus, Merle, Davenport, and Lucretia die within years of each other in this. It really sucks for Taako, to say the least.

**Author's Note:**

> I've got a tumblr! Come bug me over [there](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sariau-write)!


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